These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that%26#039;s the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it%26#039;s %26#039;just%26#039; a suggestion!)
On Tesco%26#039;s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let%26#039;s experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn%26#039;t that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot%26#039;s Children%26#039;s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
The World%26#039;s Dumbest Instruction Labels?
Those are hilarious-here%26#039;s a star
Reply:Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Reply:do not use product if seal is broken Then how do i get product out?
good one star
Reply:omg you just made my day
Reply:cant stop laughing lmao especially the christmas light 1
Reply:It%26#039;s funny the stuff they have to remind us of. I just checked to see if I could find something and sure enough I did. On a bottle of easy cheese it says:
Directions: For best results, remove cap, hold applicator tip close to food, press tip firmly, and move slowly across food surface.
Just thought it was funny that they had to remind us to remove the cap.
Reply:There%26#039;s even an organization that hunts down wacky warning labels on products and hands out cahs awards to people who send in the craziest warning labels (the people have to provide photographic evidence of the label in question).
One of my favorites that got honorable mention one year was on a bottle of dried bobcat urine used to keep pests away from garden plants that warned %26quot;Not for human consumption.%26quot; (*sob* %26quot;But I didn%26#039;t know you weren%26#039;t supposed to consume it! I thought it was a martini flavoring!%26quot;)
Others:
A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person%26#039;s temperature several different ways warns: %26quot;Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.%26quot; (O.K., say it with me: %26quot;EEEEWWWWW!!!%26quot;)
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire” (well, gee, I should certainly hope so!).
A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding.%26quot; (%26quot;Honey, where%26#039;s little Bobby? I haven%26#039;t seen him since our walk!%26quot;)
A warning label on a baking pan: %26quot;Ovenware will get hot when
used in oven.%26quot; (The person who sent in the photo of the warning had circled it, and written %26quot;Well duh!%26quot; next to it.)
The most recent 1st place winner was on a warning label on a washing machine at a laundromat that warns, “Do not put any person in this washer.” (But...but...it makes me so clean and shiny!)
Reply:I don%26#039;t know if been named but on a Razr Cellphone Instruction Manual it says %26quot;Do Not Microwave%26quot;
Reply:LOL dude, these are hilarious!!
Reply:I really liked that Korean knife one. I had to do a double take, cuz I thought it did say keep out of reach of children at first. Don%26#039;t want those knives getting in kids and getting bloody.
Reply:Those are almost as good as the frivolous lawsuit list I saw once...
This lady was in a furniture store, and tripped over a kid who%26#039;s mother wasn%26#039;t keeping tabs on him... The lady sued the store, and somehow won... even though it was HER OWN KID!!!!
A guy sued the city because one of their trucks backed into his car... He won, even though he was the (unauthorized) driver of the city truck. Yeah, he stole the city truck, was joyriding in it and backed into his own car. Then he sued the city and won!
Have you ever read the Darwin Awards?... First prize each year is awarded posthumously. In order to qualify as a finalist, one must improve the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool.
Edit- Thank you, billbo for the wonderful abdominal workout!!!!! ROFL!!! (Good thing I had a chair!)
Reply:well done!
Reply:Funny
Reply:That%26#039;s cute
Reply:Those are pretty amazing. Just this morning I noticed the directions on my instant coffee jar--stir a spoonful into hot water. Gee, who%26#039;d have ever guessed...seriously, you found some funny ones, thanks~
Reply:well people like me have tried to fly in my wonderwomen out fit when i was 7.....it was off my barn roof!..i broke my arm
Reply:ive heard em b4 but they never get old
Reply:Very good observations, and on a Friday you made me laugh. Cool, happy drinking
Reply:That is nothing. Here are some more: (some might be repeats:)
On Air Conditioner:
Avoid dropping air conditioner out of window
On Blow Dryer:
Do not use while sleeping
On Iron:
Never Iron clothes on body
On Vacuum Cleaner:
1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids.
2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning
On Life Saving Device:
This is NOT a life saving device!!!
On Can of Soda:
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.
On Superman Costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On Camera:
This camera will only work when film is inside.
On Video Game Instruction Manual:
Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury.
On Toilet Cleaner:
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from the toilet.
On Window Cleaner:
Do not spray in eyes
On a Bar of Soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap
On a hotel-provided shower cap:
Fits one head
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only
On a jar of peanuts:
Contains nuts
On a bottle of shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage
On a Blanket:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado
On an infants bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water
On a packet of juggling balls:
This product contains small granules under 3 mm. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in USA.
On a can of insect spray:
This spray is harmful to bees
On a wheelbarrow:
Do not use when temperature exceeds 140 degrees Farenheit
*EDIT*
What%26#039;s with the whole tumbs down thing?!?!?!?! I am just trying to share knowledge!
Reply:Funny.. lol. I%26#039;ve actually seen the superman costume one. We bought one for my brother when we were little and the warning said just that. %26quot;Does not enable the ability to fly%26quot;.
Reply:seen all of these on the internet before.
Reply:star for you
Reply:Hey those are pretty amusing.
Here%26#039;s one I found.
On a bottle of Elmer%26#039;s Glue
Caution: Do not Dry Clean
Reply:Funny here%26#039;s your star *.
here are some that I have seen%26#039;
A jar of creamy peanut butter. %26#039;Contains Peanuts%26#039; (i certainly hope so.)
Box of Christmas Lights- Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only
RCA Television Remote Control- Not Dishwasher Safe
Trojan Condoms: Use for sex only - not to be eaten
Arm %26amp; Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets
Reply:Wow...What has happened to humanity?
Reply:What about %26quot;Do not use microwave to dry your cat%26quot;.....
Reply:On a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On a blanket from Taiwan
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo
- USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink
- AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray
- THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
Reply:THOSE ARE GREAT, STAR FOR YOU
Reply:See that has what has happened to our society. *sigh* if they didn%26#039;t have those someone would do it and then they would sue and some idiot judge would award them millions of dollars.
Reply:funny
Reply:Funny and sad at the same time.Are we really this stupid?
books title a
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