Lookie here!?!?

On Sears hair dryer:


Do not use while sleeping.





On a bag of Fritos:


You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.





On a bar of Dial soap:


Directions: Use like regular soap.





On some Swanson frozen dinners:


Serving suggestions: Defrost.





Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:


Do not turn upside down.





On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:


Product will be hot after heating.





On packaging for a Rowenta iron:


Do not iron clothes on body.





On Boot%26#039;s Children%26#039;s Cough Medicine:


Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.





On Nytol Sleep Aid:


Warning: May cause drowsiness.





On most brands of Christmas lights:


For indoor or outdoor use only.





On a Japanese food processor:


Not to be used for the other use.





On Sainsbury%26#039;s peanuts:


Warning: Contains nuts.





On an American Airlines packet of nuts:


Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.





On a child%26#039;s Superman costume:


Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.





On a Swedish chain saw:


Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.





On a toboggan:


Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.





On a knife sharpener:


Caution: knives are sharp.





On shin pads for cyclists:


Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.





On a take away coffee cup:


Caution: Hot beverages are hot.





Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:


In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.





In a microwave oven manual:


Do not use for drying pets.





On the back of a pilot%26#039;s seat in a Nato aircraft:


Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.





On the bottom of a cola bottle:


Do not open here.





On a Harry Potter wizards broom:


This broom does not actually fly.





On a box of aspirin:


Do not take if allergic to aspirin.





On a bottle of laundry detergent:


Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.





On a muffin packet:


Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.





In a kettle instruction manual:


The appliance is switched on by setting the %26#039;ON/OFF%26#039; button to the %26#039;ON%26#039; position.





On a ketchup bottle:


Instructions: Put on food.





On a bottle of rum:


Open bottle before drinking.





A car park sign:


Entrance only. Do not enter.





A sign in a street in Hong Kong:


Beware of people.





Rules on a tram in Prague:


Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.





Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:


Take care: new non-slip surface.





On a can of air freshener:


For use by trained personnel only.





On a bottle of baby lotion:


Keep away from children.





On a pair of socks bought in egypt:


Do not wash.





On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:


Some assembly required.





On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:


May irritate eyes.





On a Frisbee:


Warning: may contain small parts.





In a car handbook:


In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.





On a packet of cashew nut pieces:


Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.





Directions for mosquito repellant:


Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.





On a birthday card for a one year old:


Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.





In a hotel bedroom:


Please do not turn on TV except when in use.





In a lift in a Japanese hotel:


Push this button in case anything happens.





On a toilet cleaning brush:


Do not use orally.





On a can of Spray paint:


Do not spray in your face.





On a TV remote:


Not Dishwasher safe.





On a blowtorch:


Not used for drying hair.





On a washing machine inn a launderette:


No small children.





On a bottle of hair dye:


Do not use as Ice Cream topping.





On a push along lawn mower:


Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.





On a box of fireworks:


Do not put in mouth.





On the packaging for a wrist watch:


Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.





In a dishwasher manual:


Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.





On a toaster:


Do not use underwater.





On a mattress:


Do not attempt to swallow.

Lookie here!?!?
Is... Is there a way to answer?
Reply:cool! u must like have a fetish for reading fine print!



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